02.03.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 2:03 pm by Chaucer
As economics is not a science, it seems reasonable to use animals such as cows in the explanation.
Economic Models explained - with Cows
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, so you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then files the milk away…
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRONVENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you are sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the journalist who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy….
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers.
A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left is very attractive.
AN IRISH CORPORATION. You have two cows, or is it three? What matters? Sure, aren’t you well off to have even one.
So that’s that clear then!
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02.02.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 2:10 pm by Chaucer
Apparently this is a real news story, whether or not it is true we thought it was worth posting.
A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ‘in a series of small fires’.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason; that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued … and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be ‘unacceptable fire’, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the ‘fires’.
But … After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson!
With his own insurance claim, and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property, and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
Isn’t the law a wonderful thing when it works correctly!
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02.01.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 2:43 pm by Chaucer
Today is the first day of a new month, Ist February. For as long as I can remember we have always said ‘White Rabbits’ three times before uttering any other words on the 1st day of every month. We are not superstitious really, and yet we never fail to remember to say white rabbits. It is much nicer than some of the other superstitious traditions for the first day of a new month. Such as ‘A pinch, and a punch for the first of the month’, which must be done before noon for it to count, complete with the action of actually pinching and punching people. If you pinch and punch first then your victim can’t respond (under U.K. rules). Although I think under Australian rules they can respond with, ‘A kick and a flick for being so quick’. I think it’s funny that there are ‘rules’ for a childhood superstition. I find these old superstitions very interesting, maybe I will write about more of them another day. I am too tired to write anything else today, I didn’t sleep well last night because I had a couple of nightmares, which is another interesting topic.
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01.30.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts, Yoelson's posts at 2:49 pm by Chaucer
Nothing to say today, so we thought we would post this because ……. we like it.
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house fill’d with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell thro’ all its regions.
A dog starv’d at his master’s gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipt and arm’d for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf’s and lion’s howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer, wand’ring here and there,
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misus’d breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher’s knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won’t believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever’s fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be belov’d by men.
He who the ox to wrath has mov’d
Shall never be by woman lov’d.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider’s enmity.
He who torments the chafer’s sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother’s grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the last judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar’s dog and widow’s cat,
Feed them and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer’s song
Poison gets from slander’s tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of envy’s foot.
The poison of the honey bee
Is the artist’s jealousy.
The prince’s robes and beggar’s rags
Are toadstools on the miser’s bags.
A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro’ the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands;
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright,
And return’d to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar,
Are waves that beat on heaven’s shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes revenge in realms of death.
The beggar’s rags, fluttering in air,
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier, arm’d with sword and gun,
Palsied strikes the summer’s sun.
The poor man’s farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric’s shore.
One mite wrung from the lab’rer’s hands
Shall buy and sell the miser’s lands;
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant’s faith
Shall be mock’d in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne’er get out.
He who respects the infant’s faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child’s toys and the old man’s reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar’s laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour’s iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plow,
To peaceful arts shall envy bow.
A riddle, or the cricket’s cry,
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet’s inch and eagle’s mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne’er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They’d immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.
The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation’s fate.
The harlot’s cry from street to street
Shall weave old England’s winding-sheet.
The winner’s shout, the loser’s curse,
Dance before dead England’s hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born,
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not thro’ the eye,
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light,
To those poor souls who dwell in night;
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.
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01.29.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 1:58 pm by Chaucer
We rattle when we walk. We have been taking our new supplements for a few days now, and I am sure we are already feeling the benefits. We have been taking Chlorella and Spirulina for a few months, and now we are also taking Omega 3, and a Multi Vitamin and Mineral. We do eat a very healthy diet, and try to eat organic but as it is not always possible, and a lot of food has been tampered with from over production and other pollutants, we thought a little extra help would be a good idea. We don’t like taking pills but after lots of research we think it is worth the effort. I know it could be psychological, but we are definitely feeling very good on our new regime. We buy our supplements online as there isn’t much choice in the local shops. It took us weeks to find the best Omega 3 and Vitamin/Mineral tablets for us. There are so many different brands to choose from, and not all of them contain what they claim to. After our lenghty research we are confident that we have bought the best supplements, and hopefully we will be feeling even better as time goes by.
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01.28.07
Posted in Yoelson's posts at 2:14 pm by Yoelson
I cooked lunch today to give Chaucer a rest. He looks after me so well, and I wanted to let him know how much I appreciate it. I am not as good at cooking as Chaucer, I guess it’s because he has had more practice. I made us a tasty meal of sauted potatoes and onion, into which I put some sliced smoked salmon, and I topped it with grilled bacon, and an egg. It was delicious, especially the salmon, us Teddy Bears love smoked salmon. I think I cooked too much though, more to the point I dished up too much, and because it was so nice we ate it all. Now we are so full all we want to do is sleep, so we’re off for an afternoon nap.
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01.27.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 3:39 pm by Chaucer
We are not very happy little Teddy bears. We like to be nice and warm, and it is definitely not warm here. It is very cold. This morning when we woke up it was only 13c in the bedroom. We had to summon up all our will power just to get out of bed. The bathroom was even colder, a measly 7c, I think that it gets so cold in there because the roof is slanted and there obviously wasn’t much room to put in thick insulation. We love our home, but it is very cold in the winter. I guess the lounge and kitchen being so large and open plan, and the staircase being open means a lot of the warm air flows upstairs. The sun was coming in through the loung windows though which made us feel warmer. Thankfully Richard had been up since about 5:30am and he put the heating on, so I guess we can’t complain as it would have been even colder when we got up. That is one of the very few things we miss about our home in London, the central heating. We don’t have it here and I wish we did. This house has electric wall heaters, an open fire in the lounge, and Richard and Laura bought a couple of petrol heaters too. I am glad I don’t have to pay the electricity bills, they are astronomical. It’s ironic really that electricity is so expensive here, considering how much France produces, I guess it’s because they sell so much of it to other countries. Oh well, at least we have a roof over our heads even of we do feel cold. There are so many people who are homeless, I often think of them, even more so when it is so cold. Outside the temperature is 8c, with the wind making it feel much colder, at least that’s 1 degree warmer than our bathroom, maybe Yoelson and I should bathe out there. Maybe not, the neighbours would think we are mad.
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01.25.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 2:54 pm by Chaucer
Yesterday we were online when we came across a post about hummus or is it houmous, I don’t know? We were not hungry but the recipe made our mouths water. So when Laura and Richard were out of the kitchen Yoelson and I set about making some hummus. We haven’t made any for ages, and it is so simple and tasty. Laura makes it often, she loves it but Richard doesn’t like chick peas. Everyone seems to use a different variation of the main ingredients in hummus, but we kept it simple like Laura does. We used chick peas, lots of garlic, olive oil, and a dash or two of balsamic vinegar. We used a very good quality extra virgin olive oil, which is so creamy that we couldn’t resist enjoying a spoonful each straight from the bottle. We didn’t use tahini as some people do, and we didn’t use lemon or lime juice, which is why we added the balsamic vinegar. I know balsamic is considered a bit over hyped now by some people, but we still love it. Once again Yoelson and I enjoyed a couple of spoonfuls of vinegar straight out of the bottle, yummy. Richard sometimes orders food online from a wonderful company in Italy, mainly pasta, olive oil, vinegar, conserves, and wine. I remember the last time he placed an order he mentioned to Laura about a particular bottle of balsamic vinegar that he had wanted to order. Laura asked him why he didn’t order it if he fancied it, to which he replied that he didn’t think she would be impressed. She asked him why and he said because it was a small bottle, 100ml and was priced at €153. We are hoping that the next time Richard places an order with that company in Italy he will order one of those tiny bottles of vinegar, it must taste fantasic because the balsamic vinegar that Richard usually buys has a lovely flavour and it is ever so slightly less expensive than that one. I know two eager Teddy Bears who will happily perform a taste test if Richard does decided to splash out. For now we are happy with our hummus, thickly spread on pieces of crusty baguette.
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01.24.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts, Our Photos at 2:05 pm by Chaucer
Yesterday Laura was feeling energetic so to use up some of her energy she decided to do some more gardening. The day before she has pulled up lots of weeds and tidied up the terrace. So yesterday she finished off the terrace by giving the tiles a good scrubbing. Then she set to work on the car which was very dirty. As the car lives under a couple of trees it is usually covered in bird poo, nasty. Laura must be mad, because although the sun was out there was a very strong wind and it was bitterly cold. The cold weather didn’t seem to deter Laura and she covered the car in neat shampoo to try and loosen the bird droppings and tree sap. The car looked funny covered in thick white bubbles and the wind was blowing the soapy foam everywhere. Yoelson and I wanted to go outside and play with the bubbles, but we are not as mad as Laura, there was no way we were setting a paw outside the house. Once the car had been soaped and rubbed all over Laura persuaded Richard to drive across to the other side of the river to rinse the car. She could have rinsed the car at home but the water would have just sat under the car as there is nowhere for it to run away. On the other side of the river there is a water pipe for the locals to use when they spray their vines. It only took a few minutes to rinse the car, and although he got out initially Richard soon decided to wait inside the car in the warmth while Laura went crazy with the hose. Once back at home they ate their lunch, and not long after Richard and the sun went for a nap. With the sun gone and the sky darker it wasn’t long before we saw thick fluffy snowflakes falling from above. It looked so pretty, but not pretty enough for us to venture outside. We stayed in and watched as everything was covered in a think soft white blanket. This morning the sun is up from its nap and the snow has almost melted. Laura always says that she can predict the weather, when she cleans the windows, or washes the car, or waters the plants, she can guarantee it will rain, well this time she was wrong, it snowed.
Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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01.23.07
Posted in Chaucer's posts at 2:36 pm by Chaucer
I have thought for years that life as we know it is not what it seems. There are so many weird and wonderful things, but so much that doesn’t make sense. I think I know why, I know the truth. Life is a game, and we are the bit part players. We are the tiny little creatures that believe we are acting of our own free will, when in fact we are merely playthings. I’m not sure who or what, but there is someone or something that controls our every thought, our every action. Obviously as there are so many of us on earth life is a very complicated and exhausting game. This would explain all of the tragic events that occur, it only takes a second for the ‘controller’ to stop concentrating and … Wham, an accident, a tradegy happens. Whoever the controller is, they are certainly powerful, and very spoilt, because life must be the best scalextric set ever. Imagine having the world and every living thing to play with. I just hope they never get bored and decide to play with the box instead.
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. Oscar Wilde
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